Let Spring SPRING!

During the cold, grey days of winter, we usually don’t see anything in bloom.  We know that it is not the time or the season.  But we still believe that Spring is coming and that Mother Nature knows just what she is doing in that dark earth. 

With the arrival of spring, blossoms gently open in their own time and at their own pace.  But imagine trying to pry a bud open with your fingers so that it would bloom sooner!  Instead of speeding up the process, it destroys the bud….

What a powerful lesson for parents.  There are so many areas we may want to help our children to grow:  for example, socially, emotionally, intellectually, physically and spiritually.   And yet we can easily lose sight of the quiet growth that is already occurring in our child at this moment.   We may want to hurry it up.  It is often hard to be patient. 

Here are a few questions to help:

1)    In the last year, what capabilities has my child shown in different areas of her life that were not there before? 

2)    Is it easier for me to see my child’s weaknesses or my child’s strengths?

3)    Have I taken the time to let my child know of her personal growth? 

A book you can read with your kids focusing on strengths is:

How Full Is Your Bucket? For Kids

by Tom Rath and Mary Reckmeyer

A book for parents is:

Your Child's Strengths: A Guide for Parents and Teachers

 by Jenifer Fox

 

Family Activity for the Month:  Have everyone bring paper, markers and their creativity outside to the front yard or in the neighborhood.  Invite everyone to draw something they see blossoming.  Bring the pictures inside and hang them at your children’s eye level so they can admire what they made!

Written by Laura Thieman, LCSW.  Laura is a social worker at Crossroads Family Counseling Center.   She brings over 15 years of experience across numerous settings and populations to her clinical work, and her areas of focus include play and expressive therapies with children.  She has four young children of her own and can be found swinging at area parks, writing, and blowing bubbles.

PLAYFUL MARCH HOLIDAYS TO CELEBRATE WITH KIDS!

There are several unofficial days in March that you can celebrate with your kids and family.  

March 15- INCREDIBLE KID DAY!  It’s easy as a parent to forget how incredible our kids are.  This is a day to set aside your worries, concerns, frustrations about your child not putting their shoes away, cleaning up their room, or doing their homework.  It’s a day to just say “You’re an incredible kid!”  Kids thrive on positive reinforcement.  It’s easy to forget this and concentrate on the things our children aren’t doing well.   Julie A. Ross, M.A. suggests in, HOW TO HUG A PORCUPINE Negotiating the Prickly Points of the Tween Years, occasionally leaving your child a “LOVE TICKET” with something you appreciate that they did or something you like about them.  Today is the day to leave a note saying….”I think you are an Incredible kid because…”  If you’re having trouble thinking of something ask another family member or a teacher. For a free download of this stationary go to:  http://ehernandezdesigns.blogspot.com/2012/03/absolutely-incredible-kid-dday.html

March 22-NATIONAL GOOF OFF DAY:  This is on a Monday so it might be hard to actually take off work or school.  However, after school is a great time to set aside some time with your kids and family and just “GOOF OFF”.    You’ll discover that goofing off is actually good for you. Experts share goofing off every day—at home and at work can be good for you. Kenneth Ginsburg, MD, from the American Pediatrics Assoc. states, “Free time has been markedly reduced for most children.  Play is essential to development because it contributes to the cognitive, physical, social, and emotional well-being of children and youth. Play also offers an ideal opportunity for parents to engage fully with their children.”   So, take the time today and “goof off”, play and have fun.   As the saying goes, “A family that plays together stays together.”

March 30^-TAKE A WALK IN THE PARK DAY:   Kids love to go for walks especially with their parents. And, if you have a dog the dog will appreciate it too!  Why not take a walk enjoying the new sights of Spring-the flowers blooming, the new buds on trees, the sounds of nature coming back to life. Did you know? Walking is good exercise.  (http://www.nhs.uk/change4life/Pages/walk-for-life.aspx)

• Walking is good for bones and muscles: helping your kids grow up big and strong.
• It burns calories: in fact a brisk walk burns the same amount of calories as a run over the same distance!
• It builds stamina.
• It helps beat stress: walking can make you feel good and more relaxed.
• It can cut your risk of heart disease by up to 50%, reduce the risk of type 2 diabetes and the risk of some cancers
• It boosts your immune system for 24 hours
• It can even lower your blood pressure.
• It’s FREE!

Crossroads Family Counseling Center, LLC hope you have a wonderful March celebrating some of these unofficial days with your kids and family! 

Written by:  Sheri Mitschelen, LCSW, RPT/S, Owner and Director of Crossroads Family Counseling Center, LLC  a Licensed Clinical Social Worker (LCSW) in the State of Virginia and a Registered Play Therapy-Supervisor (RPT-S).

Read more at Suite101: Fun, Odd March Holidays to Celebrate with Kids | Suite101 http://suite101.com/article/fun-odd-march-holidays-to-celebrate-with-kids-a187088#ixzz2L0YMX0I5

Nurturing Relationships

Healthy relationships are essential to our happiness and emotional health. They also have a positive effect on our physical health.  Research shows that people who have satisfying relationships have been shown to be happier, have fewer health problems, and live longer.  For these reasons, it is important to take care of and nurture the relationships we have in life.  Because life is so busy with work, school, appointments, etc (and depending on what life stage you are in, it can be even more challenging) there is rarely enough time left over to “nurture” our relationships.  Of course, there is the “I love you” as you run out the door, the quick kiss hello as you return, but for relationships to sustain time, they need more intentional love and care.  

Little ways to nurture relationships with our significant other:

-     Leaving a little note/card that simply says “I love you” that let’s your partner know  you 

      are thinking of him/her

-     Taking a few brief moments to actually look in your partners eyes when they walk in the 

      door and greet them with warmth.

-     Giving them a hug or kiss just because

-     Spending a few minutes snuggling before you fall asleep

-     Cooking your partner’s favorite meal.

-     It's designating one night a week, “your night”, whether you

have a babysitter or not, to eat dinner together (alone), sit on the couch and talk, or  work   on a project  together; to connect and interact on a deeper level than thepracticalities of life and parenting.

Little ways to nurture relationships with children:

-     Putting a little I love you note in their lunch box

-     Spending at least 15 minutes to just listen to them about their day. 

-     Hugs and kisses

-     Reading a bedtime story

-     Designating time to have a special date with each child individually at least once a month

-     Baking cookies together

-         

So, as Valentine’s Day approaches it is important to remember that showing love and appreciation for the special people in your life is a gift that can be given every day and not just on the one day a year that represents “love”.  

Crossroads Family Counseling Center, LLC wants to wish you a very Happy Valentines Day!

 Written by Denise Booth who  is a Virginia Licensed Clinical Social Worker (LCSW) with over 10 years experience working with children and families. She has experience providing individual, family and group therapy to court-involved adolescents and families. She specializes in providing therapy to adolescents dealing with trauma and PTSD, behavioral issues at home and school, as well as anxiety, depression, self-esteem and substance abuse. In her work with parents, she strives to enhance parent-child relationships and strengthen parenting skills.

WINTER BLUES?

With the excitement of the holiday season coming to a close, you may notice the post-holiday blues beginning to settle in.  Weeks of holiday planning and preparation, parties and family entertaining, shopping and gift giving can lead to January and subsequent winter months feeling dreary, empty, and lonely.  Children are not immune to these same feelings as they struggle to resume their regular routine. 
So what can you do to help your child combat the winter blues? 

~ Let your child express their disappointment and/or sadness and empathize 
          with their feelings.       

~ Share your own feelings, experiences, and memories about feeling sad after the

 holidays.

~ Life may have resumed its busy schedule, but make sure you structure

family time together.  Play those board games they received as

Christmas gifts! Find time for a movie night complete with popcorn!

Plan ahead so the children have something for which to look forward too. 

~ The often frigid outside temperatures of the winter months can force children

          to remain inside.  Create fun, physical activities that help children release 

          excess energy.  A parent/child jumping jack competition?  Yoga animal 

          poses?

~ Help them to focus on the positives.  What do they love about winter?   

         What are they thankful for when it is cold and dreary outside?

~ Maintain a consistent sleep schedule. Children do best when there are

        consistent routines, expectations, and schedules.   

The post holiday blues may feel intense, but tend to be short lived.  If your child’s mood and behavior remain persistent, begin to affect school, social activities, interests, appetite, and familial relationships, he or she may need some additional support.  Please do not hesitate to reach out to Crossroads Family Counseling in order to determine how your child’s need can best be met. 

FAMILY FUN ACTIVITY:   Watch a Family Movie at Home

Why spend a small fortune taking the families to the movies when you can stay at home for an even better theater experience? Host an unforgettable family movie night that's more than a couple of hours sitting on the couch together. Let the kids create movie tickets, make snacks and open their own concession stand. After the movie's over, let their inner critics write movie reviews. Winter Fun for Kids-12 Activities to Beat the Cabin Fever Blues, By Apryl Duncan, About.com Guide

The staff at Crossroads would like to wish you each of you a joyful 2013!!!!!!

Darah Curran is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker (LCSW) in the State of Virginia with 15 years experience working with children, adolescents and families. Darah has provided support for pediatric and adult individuals and families in outpatient and inpatient medical settings. Her areas of focus include adjustment and behavioral issues, social skills development, chronic illness, grief and trauma work. Darah believes in the strength of the family and encourages each member's involvement in making positive change for the child or family system.

THE GREATEST GIFT FOR YOUR CHILD IS YOU!

Are you scouring through cookbooks and catalogues to create the perfect holiday for your family? Slow down. The greatest gift of all is free. And you already have it. The gift of one-on-one Special Play Time will reduce your own stress, as well as your child’s. And it’s fun! Special Play Time may sound corny. However, leading child psychology and parenting experts agree that a little bit of your undivided attention goes a long way (Virginia Axline, Gary Landreth, Louise Guerney…). Here’s how to bring some real, old-fashioned wonder to your holidays. Try it during the holiday break, maybe after the presents are opened. We think you will enjoy it as much as your child will. If so, you can keep giving it all year long.

RECIPE FOR SPECIAL PLAY TIME:

 - Plan for 15 to 30 minutes of time.

Put it on the calendar, so that you and your child can look forward to it together. (Special time should not be cancelled, “saved up,” given as a reward, or withheld as consequence. It’s something your child can count on.) Start on time, and give your child a 5 minute warning when time is up, letting her know you will do it again soon. - Protect this sacred time during which you give your child your undivided attention. Keep it one-on-one. Close the door, turn off cell phones, resist multi-tasking, and make sure siblings (who will get their turn) are otherwise occupied.

(Just for fun: You and your child can create a Do Not Disturb sign to post during Special Play Time.)

 - Keep this time child-centered. Let your child choose what to do. Accept the invitation into her world of play, whether it’s make believe, creating, or building. Follow her lead. For example, if your child wants you to be the space alien, try a stage whisper: “What does the space alien do now?” so your child stays in the lead.

 - Accept your child’s choices. Resist the urge to guide, preach, correct and even praise. Most of us are quick to say “good job” or to guide our children: “It works better if you do it like this.” But too much praise and guidance (or criticism) can undermine children’s sense of self. During Special Play Time, try noticing (outloud) your child’s actions, desires, and emotions without evaluating them. For example, instead of “You are putting the doll’s clothes on backwards,” try this: “You want the buttons in the back.” If your child creates a picture or a tower, try this: “You worked hard on that. You seem proud!” rather than “Nice picture, honey.”

- Minimize rules. Try to stick to the basics: (1) no breaking things and (2) no hurting yourself or me. You may want to add one more, like cleaning up together at the end. Otherwise, almost anything goes. If your child continues to break a rule after a warning, simply tell her in a calm tone that you have to end Special Play Time for that day, but you will schedule another one soon. - Make it your own! You and your child can come up with a unique name for your play sessions. Try inventing your own closing ritual too. This can be the “Clean Up” song, a high five, a secret hand shake, a sticker, a quick hand massage with lotion, or whatever you create together.

Special Play Time facilitates family bonds as well as your child’s confidence, creativity, and emotional regulation. Best of all – its fun and relaxing for parents and children alike! You can try it during the holidays, and then make it part of your regular routine. We think you will enjoy this break from technology, chores, work, and rules at least as much as your child will. No batteries required!

Happy Holidays from the team at Crossroads Family Counseling Center, LLC

Written by Laelia Gilborn, M.S.W.,M.P.H., holds two Masters Degrees in both Social Work and Public Health. She has additional training in child-centered play therapy and other therapeutic approaches to working with children. She has a special interest and experience with supporting families who are coping with health-related challenges and grief and loss issues.

Holiday Expectations

During the holiday season, we imagine incredible wafting aromas, long awaited visits with family and friends, crunching leaves, falling snow, joy, laughter and…

…whining and fighting—not so much!

Holidays can also bring with them higher stress levels.  At Crossroads Family Counseling Center, we specialize in supporting families through every season of the year.  Here are some tips that may be helpful: 

·       Think about what’s most important to your family and how to put the needs of your family first.  Let others know in advance to give them time to adjust.

·       Watch overscheduling.  Children often get cranky when they have to rush from place to place.

·       Build in time for normal routines, unstructured playtime for kids, i.e. “downtime”.

·       Include kids in age-appropriate ways---cooking, family traditions, faith traditions, etc. 

·       Simplify.  Sometimes less is better.  A handmade gift by a child can be both less expensive and more meaningful than something purchased at the store.

·       Take time to unplug:  play some family games, do a craft or spend extra time reading to the kids.

If your family is in transition or is experiencing separation or divorce, this brings a unique set of stressors to the holiday season.  Remember that children experience security from seeing mom and dad respect each other even when they don’t live in the same house anymore. 

Crossroads Family Counseling Center wants to wish you a happy and blessed holiday season, from our playroom to yours! 

FAMILY PLAY ACTIVITY FOR THE MONTH:  Design a family holiday banner to display in your home.  Make it out of felt or poster board.  Decorate it with pictures or symbols that are important to your family this holiday.  Let your imagination soar and have fun!

Written by Laura Thieman, LCSW.  Laura is a social worker at Crossroads Family Counseling Center.   She brings over 15 years of experience across numerous settings to her work with families, and her areas of focus include play and expressive therapies with children.  She has four young children of her own and can be found swinging at area parks, writing, and blowing bubbles

Fall is a time for Change

Crossroads Family Counseling Center LLC,  

3611-C Chainbridge Rd., Fairfax, VA 22030

703-380-9045 

OCTOBER BLOG, 2012

Autumn is a time of change.  Nature changes around us, while our routines change as well with the shorter days, and the transition back to school, extracurricular activities, and the upcoming holidays.  It is a beautiful time of year. 

But change can be hard, especially for children, who don’t always like the changes in weather and routine that fall brings.  Shorter days and the time change can disrupt children’s sleep patterns. Some children dislike adding additional layers and warmer clothes.  Those with sensory issues may have opposition to long pants, socks, and heavy shoes.  This can create power struggles and tears during the morning rush to get out the door. Some children struggle in adjusting to a new school, class, babysitter, teacher, or have trouble facing holidays if things are not the same as they were last year.

Crossroads Family Counseling Center, LLC is a place that understands about change and transition.  We’re actually going through changes ourselves.  We have a new website with more information about our practice.  Check it out at:  www.crossroadsfamilycounselingcenter.com.  

We also have two new team members:  Darah Curran, LCSW and Denise Booth, LCSW. Darah has experience with working with medically challenged children and their families, as well as with grief and loss issues.  Her warmth and guidance to families and children creates a sense of calmness when anxiety and stress are high.  Denise has a background working with troubled adolescents.  Her strength and confidence help parents and teens succeed with communication issues, rules at home and school, and managing the challenges of being a teenager in today’s world.  

All Crossroads Family counselors can offer your family and children support as needed during this season.  We specialize in working with children, adolescents and families.  We are trained play therapists and use play as a way to create change. 

Even though change can be hard change can create new opportunities.  Your life does not get better by chance, it gets better by change.” –Jim Rohn

We hope that the beautiful Fall weather and change in the colors around you gives you time to enjoy this transition and spend some time outdoors with your children and family.

PLAY ACTIVITY FOR THE MONTH:  Check out this article about Autumn-sensory Play. http://play-activities.com/autumnal-sensory-play.  It focuses on ideas for touchy-feely, smelly, noisy, visual and tasty autumn activities.